Laziest Commentary Ever and One Solid Rant

The Mong
Music Group (So Called) Commentary
July 2010

Grease Band – GREASE BAND & AMAZING GREASE – 3
I’m with Jerry Williams Blog on this one but I found I kept returning to it so it’s a solid 3.

Hot Hot Heat – FUTURE BREEDS – 2.5
I’m down with PFS Press on this one.

The National – HIGH VIOLET – 1.5
I couldn’t agree more, PFS Press. What’s the big fucking deal!

Willie Nile – HOUSE OF A THOUSAND GUITARS – 2.5
I agree with dpl29 although I can’t claim the specific knowledge to back the Mike Watt/Waterboys comparisons.

Matthew Sweet – ALTERED BEAST – 5
Word up, Sandor, but if we follow your logic that means you think GIRLFRIEND is a 4, too? Both 5s, says I!

G’Hits – Blood Hound Gang
Too juvenile...even for me and that’s saying a lot. Just way too dependent on parody and trying way too hard. And way disrespectful, actually, in its flippant attempt to co-opt Hip Hop (betraying their total lack of understanding of it), declares this anything-but-PC white boy. Oh, or were you pitiful hacks just trying to be cute, clever, and funny. Why don’t you try black-face next time because that’d be equally hilarious. I could say much the same of their ball-less rape and pillage of any musical genre attempted herein. So I guess all that’s really left to say is fuck you, Blood Hound Gang. Fuck you all in the ass with Bigfoot’s gout-inflamed larger foot that just walked through a thicket of thorn bushes and poison ivy after he just gang-banged all your mothers in the back cab of a Ford Bronco. Oh, gosh, did I cross the line there? Was that too crass? But I was only joking...trying to be clever.

TOPIC QUESTIONS

Define your music reviewing strategy.
I don’t really have one.

What is a 5/4/3/2/1?
5 is 4+1
4 is something they say in golf
3 is a crowd
2 is better than one
1 is the loneliest number

Where do you draw the line as to what you keep?
I keep everything digitally since someone I know might want it someday.

If you keep- what makes the cd shelf, the mp3 player or both?
Only originals on my shelves. No room for imitations. Unless it’s super-rare, that is.

Name 5 bands/recordings that instantly makes you feel cooler than you are.
Queens of the Stone Age – Queens of the Stone Age
Iggy and the Stooges – Raw Power
The Clash – Combat Rock
Beastie Boys – Check Your Head
Trans Am – Red Line