If I had a time machine...

“The Mong” – Music Group Commentary: July, 2007

OF MONTREAL – HISSING FAUNA, ARE YOU THE DESTROYER? = 0 STARS
If I had a time machine, I’d go back and prevent the members of Neutral Milk Hotel from ever forming the most overrated of all bands. This would save humanity from all the shitty bands and artists that they’ve influenced, Of Montreal among them. I’d do even more noble stuff with my time machine, though, like stop Hitler and Pol Pot. But the third thing on my list would definitely be to stop Neutral Milk Hotel from forming.

THE SNAKE THE CROSS THE CROWN – COTTON TEETH = 4.5 STARS
Despite them not breaking any new ground, this is phenomenal and inspired songwriting. The only other release from this year that I’ve listened to this much in the first month of owning it is Wilco’s new one. Definitely the same alt country / classic rock territory and only slightly less amazing.

Us3 – HAND ON THE TORCH = 2 STARS
I am not a fan of Jazz. I could go so far as to say that I hate Jazz. Yes, I appreciate it culturally, the skill and ability, etc., but to reduce it to my fundamental gripe I’ll paraphrase the manager from the movie, “The Commitments:” it’s all just musical wankin’. There are, of course, exceptions that prove the rule, and my hatred of Jazz is not as passionate as, say, Gospel or radio friendly Country, but at least I’m man enough to refuse to fall in line on this one so don’t even try to convince me otherwise. All that being “said,” the structuring of all these Blue Note samples into actual songs is listenable enough: background music listenable: enjoyable in a passive and inoffensive way that is instantly forgettable.

WALT MINK – COLOSSUS = 5 STARS
Another of way too many great bands that was hyped, used, abused, and then discarded by a major label, doomed to fade into obscurity to all but their most devoted fans lucky enough to find them on the indie labels that released their follow-ups. “Colossus” was, unfortunately, Walt Mink’s swansong. Unfortunate because it is arguably their very best CD in a long line of other great releases. Everyone in the band has monster chops that actually elevate the songs and songwriting, something that so few bands with monster chops ever achieve with this degree of skill or consistency.

RANDY NEWMAN – G’HITS
In a fight between Randy Newman and Paul Williams, my money is on me shooting them both. And seriously, trying to put my prejudices aside, I actually did listen to this whole CD and now I am that much lamer for it.

TOPICS

If I were chosen to produce the band/artist of my choice, only inclusive of those amongst the living, I would produce Green Day’s next album. They are and always have been equal parts punk and rock, but “American Idiot,” their latest and now one of my all time favorite CDs, definitely leans more towards straight-ahead rock. I would take Green Day much further down this road, but not in the vein of The Who like “American Idiot;” I would shape them – songs, sound, equipment, recording methods, production, engineering, etc. – into something more like classic Rolling Stones, a’la “Let it Bleed” and “Sticky Fingers.” Now that’s an album I’d love to hear!

The best CD of 2007 so far is a tie: Wilco’s “Sky Blue Sky” and Trans Am’s “Sex Change.”

Last good book I read: “Apocalypse 2012” by Lawrence E. Joseph. It’s a critical, scientific, somewhat philosophical and often humerous analysis of the 2012 end-of-the-world hoopla. It’s also freighting as hell.